An Intentional Future

Tag: life

• Living After Loss {A Mission Statement}

  Posted at 5:39 am by Alysha

  May 10th

  When I was 8 months pregnant with our daughter I became inspired to create a family mission statement. I did not feel I could articulate everything I wanted it to say so I enlisted the help of my husband. At first he declined saying it wasn’t necessary, but after a little prodding (okay, nagging) he gave in. The result was the most beautiful and meaningful set of words I have ever read; mostly because they were written with the utmost love and care a man could have for his family. The words described everything he expected our family to strive for. His expectations were high but he believed we could rise to the challenge. That beautiful family mission statement is still mounted proudly on our wall; residing over our home and reminding us of what we should be working towards and where we hope to be one day. 

  Today, I mentally reminded myself of the intentional mission he wrote for us as I sat feeling aimless and overwhelmed. It seemed everything had culminated with a poof and I was left sitting in a pile of ashes, sifting through the remains of our future. I had no idea where to begin and then I thought of the mission statement. I came to the realization that our future is just as important as it was then, except now I am the commander; whether I like it or not I must lead this family. 

  I know I’m not alone in this feeling. While talking with a friend this evening, she noted similar fears. There’s no doubt about it, this is a difficult situation but we (widows, women, people) are capable of directing our steps. 

  With that said, I would like to invite you to join me in a series of posts focused on creating a mission statement post-loss. The planning will involve identifying needs and desires, establishing measurable goals, and implementing them. 

  No matter where you are in life I believe it is important to create and implement goals. As widows, it is more important than ever that we choose to take hold of our future and live life intentionally. 

  I hope you’ll join me on this journey of creating a plan for your future. You won’t regret it!

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  Posted in Life, Loss | Tagged choose, future, Goals, intentional, life, live, living, loss, mission, widows

• Goals {The Purpose of this Blog}

  Posted at 2:51 pm by Alysha

  May 3rd

  1. To read the bible every day and eventually read it in its entirety.

  2. To read at least one book per month for the next 12 months. This may seem like a small goal to some but with all I have going on in my life, it can be very challenging to complete a book.

  3. To plant a vegetable garden.

  4. To be satisfied with where we’re at. No more house projects, big trips, or shopping sprees with money we don’t have or shouldn’t be spending.

  5. To live simply .This is a very broad goal and is in no way measurable but it may include things such as taking my reusable grocery bag to the store with me when I shop in order to eliminate the build-up of plastic bags. Or to de-clutter the garage. Whatever it is, I know what it will look like to me.

  6. To be more intentional with my time. I am not one to live by a schedule but with children you have to. There is nothing I dislike more than coming to the realization I have wasted three hours of my time on the computer or lost in daytime t.v. I am on a mission to organize my day more effectively but mostly to carve out some time for ME!

  7. To find a hobby. Have blogging, working in the yard, drinking coffee, and watching comedy but I need something more. I need a real outlet for my energy. Something in which I can set goals and challenge myself. Running perhaps?

  8. To clean less. Really. I spend a lot of time cleaning and tidying and sometimes maintaining a clean house consumes me. I may be bordering on OCD tendencies. LOL! And my new venture will definitely help with that. Check it out at Alysha’s Norwex

  9. To cherish relationships. Whether it be with my husband, family members, or friends, I believe building relationships is key to a happy life. I am so blessed by the people God has put in my life but I do sometimes (okay, more often than not) take them for granted. My goal is to make them aware of their importance to me by spending quality time with them or blessing them in some other way.

  10. To pursue some sort of higher education. I have not quite decided how this one might play out but I have a few ideas. Stay tuned.

  Wow, it was exhausting just to write that list. I hope I can live up to the expectations I have for myself. I guess only time will tell.

  Do you have goals you’d like to share? Link them up below.

   

  Thanks for reading,

  Alysha

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  Posted in Life, Uncategorized | Tagged Bible, business, challenge, cleaning, effort, Family, fun, Goals, God, green, hobbies, life, Norwex

• Chemotherapy and Life

  Posted at 3:48 pm by Alysha

  Apr 20th

  I am passionate, sometimes overly so. I get excited about things others don’t. According to my husband, this quality is something he loves about me. However, recently he has had to put me in my place more so than not. My husband is the opposite; he likes solidarity. I love people.

  Since cancer has come into the picture my husband has become even more introverted and I in turn have become overly passionate; trying everything I can to keep him engaged in life. I am the type of person that believes the pitch of my voice is directly proportional to someone’s level of understanding. In other words, the louder I talk, the more you’re going to understand the point I’m trying to make. I am still trying to find a balance and yesterday it became very aware to me that that balance must be found soon.

  For a while I have expected more out of my husband than he is capable of giving. Cancer and chemotherapy have stunted his intellect, energy level, and desire for communication. Ahh, the lovely side effects of Chemo Brain. His inability to connect has only caused me to yearn for it more. Yesterday, through a series of texts, I realized I lacked an understanding of the devastating effects of chemotherapy. As a result of his physical and emotional depletion, I assumed he didn’t love me or had no desire to build up our marriage. My frustration came out in a passionate rage. I raised my voice and felt as if I wanted to pound my desires into his head. I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t understand. Why he stood silent. So I left.

  He explained it like this, via text, after he had a chance to think things through:

  “I just want to be and not think. I have heavy enough things on my mind constantly as it is…. I know that’s not fair to you and I’m sorry. I promise to work on it but I need you to understand that my brain isn’t really working at full capacity. Chemo brain is real. It sucks and I forget things and just want to do the easiest thing possible.”

  Before this text I believed that if I forced him to be engaged in something: a family trip, a house project, or a bible study, that he wouldn’t have a chance to let go. Now I realize that allowing him some down time is exactly what he needs. This doesn’t mean he’s saying goodbye or giving up, it’s just what he needs to recoup what the drugs are draining out of him.

  All this reveals the need for a delicate balance between the terrible effects of chemotherapy and maintaining life. How do I allow him the time to heal without feeling like we’re missing out? I would venture to say it all comes down to satisfaction. Being satisfied by the little things. Sitting on the couch together, watching the kids jump on the trampoline, or enjoying our favorite meals. Isn’t it the little things that count? Yeah, I think that’s right. So, here’s to finding joy in the little things!

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  Posted in Loss, Uncategorized | Tagged Cancer, chemo, chemo brain, effects of chemotherapy, Family, grateful, gratitude, health, house, joy, life, little things, Love, quality time

• Striving

  Posted at 3:48 am by Alysha

  Apr 7th

  I so tried to make today a great day. And I think, for the most part, I succeeded. At least I tried, right?

  It was really beautiful outside today. The weather was perfect. We even made it to the park. I had the opportunity to witness my childrens’ beautiful smiles each time they squealed with delight as they came careening down the slide. Simply put, there were a lot of smiles. It made my heart sing. Really, the experience made me feel as if being a mother was what I was created to be. But, there was just one thing missing…..daddy.

  Pete’s latest chemo session came to a close yesterday when his pump was removed. He was feeling pretty good. Feeling as if he has somehow escaped those nasty side effects he felt while on the previous regimen. Unfortunately they kicked in today.

  I felt so bad for him but I’m afraid I don’t know how to be the wife he needs me to be when he’s feeling sick, so I just go or do. Anything to get me out of the house and away from him. That sounds so terrible but I feel my presence just makes it awkward. Difficult. Restless. And I know what he needs more than anything is to just rest.

  The purpose of this blog is to live better. To learn more and try to be more than I am. Today on the radio I was reminded of the similarities between this season of our lives and the current season we celebrate as believers in Christ. The host spoke of Easter as being a time of renewal, new life, and growth. And by being introspective that’s exactly what I intend to do. I am forever grateful that our Savior paid the price for our sins. What an amazing gift. I will be forever in His debt.

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  Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Cancer, children, Christ, Easter, Family, gift, God, grateful, life, loneliness, play, renewal, Savior, season, sins

• 

  Alysha

  Hi, my name is Alysha and welcome to my blog. I hope this community helps you during your time of need. Loss is never easy but it always helps to talk with people who can relate. Thanks for visiting and please come back!

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