I so tried to make today a great day. And I think, for the most part, I succeeded. At least I tried, right?
It was really beautiful outside today. The weather was perfect. We even made it to the park. I had the opportunity to witness my childrens’ beautiful smiles each time they squealed with delight as they came careening down the slide. Simply put, there were a lot of smiles. It made my heart sing. Really, the experience made me feel as if being a mother was what I was created to be. But, there was just one thing missing…..daddy.
Pete’s latest chemo session came to a close yesterday when his pump was removed. He was feeling pretty good. Feeling as if he has somehow escaped those nasty side effects he felt while on the previous regimen. Unfortunately they kicked in today.
I felt so bad for him but I’m afraid I don’t know how to be the wife he needs me to be when he’s feeling sick, so I just go or do. Anything to get me out of the house and away from him. That sounds so terrible but I feel my presence just makes it awkward. Difficult. Restless. And I know what he needs more than anything is to just rest.
The purpose of this blog is to live better. To learn more and try to be more than I am. Today on the radio I was reminded of the similarities between this season of our lives and the current season we celebrate as believers in Christ. The host spoke of Easter as being a time of renewal, new life, and growth. And by being introspective that’s exactly what I intend to do. I am forever grateful that our Savior paid the price for our sins. What an amazing gift. I will be forever in His debt.
3 thoughts on “Striving”
Zen and Genki
Not every day will be a great day, but that’s ok… it doesn’t mean it’s without value and depth, richness and meaning. I can’t imagine how difficult it is to watch your husband feel so run down and besieged by chemo…I do know how easy it is to feel helpless and useless when someone you love is battling cancer and feeling the effects of such a harrowing journey, when it seems as though you both need a moment away from each other to breath and regroup, but you don’t want to miss the potential of a special moment either. You’re doing the best you can, and it sounds like you have a deep and profound relationship with Christ and that is so wonderful…stay strong
virtual hugs to you and yours,
anne
mommyrenewed
Thank you so much Anne. It sounds like you have some experience. It’s difficult when I feel like I’m not making the most of each moment or sitting by idly. It’s all a learning process. Thanks again, Alysha
Zen and Genki
You’ve told such a lovely, warm story about your family here…such a beautiful, precious unit! Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers (((hugs)))
anne